You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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