She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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