i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
