i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
