Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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