brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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