You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
