I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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