Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
