I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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