Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize