i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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