At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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