Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
