you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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