the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
