i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My feet surprised me
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