AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
