what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Houston, we have a squirter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow