she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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