Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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