That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
