I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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