u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize