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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i barfeds in our rink
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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