I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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