I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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