She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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