I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize