Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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