I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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