So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
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Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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