better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
