So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
