Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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