forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
