You made me cry and you don't even care
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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