It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
