i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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