I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We need to rekindle our bromance
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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