"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
