the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
