I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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