I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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