I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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