3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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