if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
