I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize