the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
