in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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