forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
