the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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