i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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