why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
