hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
