my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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