My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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