Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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