please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
