Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
