R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
