I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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