He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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