Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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